Musings of a Traditional Romantic

“Life is uncharted territory. It reveals its story one moment at a time.”

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Playing with privilege: the invisible benefits of gaming while male

radicalbytes:

I wrote an article attempting to identify some of the unearned benefits and privileges my fellow male gamers and I are afforded simply by virtue of being male. Please check out the full article in context over on Polygon.

  1. I can choose to remain completely oblivious, or indifferent to the harassment that many women face in gaming spaces.
  2. I am never told that video games or the surrounding culture is not intended for me because I am male.
  3. I can publicly post my username, gamertag or contact information online without having to fear being stalked or sexually harassed because of my gender.
  4. I will never be asked to “prove my gaming cred” simply because of my gender.
  5. If I enthusiastically express my fondness for video games no one will automatically assume I’m faking my interest just to “get attention” from other gamers.
  6. I can look at practically any gaming review site, show, blog or magazine and see the voices of people of my own gender widely represented.
  7. When I go to a gaming event or convention, I can be relatively certain that I won’t be harassed, groped, propositioned or catcalled by total strangers.
  8. I will never be asked or expected to speak for all other gamers who share my gender.
  9. I can be sure that my gaming performance (good or bad) won’t be attributed to or reflect on my gender as a whole.
  10. My gaming ability, attitude, feelings or capability will never be called into question based on unrelated natural biological functions.
  11. I can be relatively sure my thoughts about video games won’t be dismissed or attacked based solely on my tone of voice, even if I speak in an aggressive, obnoxious, crude or flippant manner.
  12. I can openly say that my favorite games are casual, odd, non-violent, artistic, or cute without fear that my opinions will reinforce a stereotype that “men are not real gamers.”
  13. When purchasing most major video games in a store, chances are I will not be asked if (or assumed to be) buying it for a wife, daughter or girlfriend.
  14. The vast majority of game studios, past and present, have been led and populated primarily by people of my own gender and as such most of their products have been specifically designed to cater to my demographic.
  15. I can walk into any gaming store and see images of my gender widely represented as powerful heroes, villains and non-playable characters alike.
  16. I will almost always have the option to play a character of my gender, as most protagonists or heroes will be male by default.
  17. I do not have to carefully navigate my engagement with online communities or gaming spaces in order to avoid or mitigate the possibility of being harassed because of my gender.
  18. I probably never think about hiding my real-life gender online through my gamer-name, my avatar choice, or by muting voice-chat, out of fear of harassment resulting from my being male.
  19. When I enter an online game, I can be relatively sure I won’t be attacked or harassed when and if my real-life gender is made public
  20. If I am trash-talked or verbally berated while playing online, it will not be because I am male nor will my gender be invoked as an insult.
  21. While playing online with people I don’t know I won’t be interrogated about the size and shape of my real-life body parts, nor will I be pressured to share intimate details about my sex life for the pleasure of other players.
  22. Complete strangers generally do not send me unsolicited images of their genitalia or demand to see me naked on the basis of being a male gamer.
  23. In multiplayer games I can be pretty sure that conversations between other players will not focus on speculation about my “attractiveness” or “sexual availability” in real-life.
  24. If I choose to point out sexism in gaming, my observations will not be seen as self-serving, and will therefore be perceived as more credible and worthy of respect than those of my female counterparts, even if they are saying the exact same thing.
  25. Because it was created by a straight white male, this checklist will likely be taken more seriously than if it had been written by virtually any female gamer.

(via femfreq)

768 notes

Please, please, please don't drive while intoxicated.

wilwheaton:

The Los Angeles County coroner has identified a Palmdale teen who authorities said was killed when a suspected drunk driver crashed into her home and hit her while she slept.

Giselle Mendoza, 16, was pronounced dead at her home early Sunday after Los Angeles County Sheriff’s Department deputies said Roberto Rodriguez, 20, crashed his SUV into a Palmdale apartment building.

Mendoza was sleeping in her first-floor bedroom when a 2007 Nissan Pathfinder slammed into the complex in the 1000 block of East Avenue R before 4 a.m. Sunday, officials said.

I know a lot of younger people use Tumblr, so please let me be your dad for a quick moment: at some point in your life (maybe at several points in your life) you will be confronted with the decision to drive after drinking or using recreational drugs. You may think, “it’s only a mile” or “I’ll be very careful” or “I probably shouldn’t drive, but I think I’ll be okay” or “I don’t have money for a cab”.

But here’s the thing about that: you may convince yourself that it’s okay to drive, and you may even get where you’re going safely. You may do that more than once, and start to think that you’re never going to have a problem if you drive while intoxicated (even a little bit).

But what if you don’t? What if you lose your focus or judgement for one second, and you end up hitting a person who’s crossing a dark street in front of you? What if you end up missing a light, and crashing into another car?

What will you do when you, an otherwise good person who would never intentionally hurt another person, make the decision to get behind the wheel when you shouldn’t, and you end up killing someone?

Just think about that for a moment, okay? If this kid, Robert Rodriguez, is found guilty, he’s likely going to spend most of his life in prison. He’s 20 years-old. He’s probably not a criminal, and he’s probably going to spend what should be the best years of his life in a prison, because he made the decision to drive while intoxicated.

Now think about the family of Giselle Mendoza. She was sixteen years-old. SIXTEEN. Her life hadn’t even started yet, and now she’s gone. Forever. Because a suspected drunk driver — just four years older than her — decided that he’d get behind the wheel of a car when he shouldn’t have.

Look, I get it: figuring out how to get home can be a hassle. Taxis and Uber are expensive, and public transit can be inconvenient.

But take a moment and think about Giselle Mendoza’s friends and family, and Robert Rodriguez’s friends and family, and ask yourself how much cab fare would have been too much.

Okay, thanks for listening and letting me be your Internet dad for a minute.